Members share their experience, strength and hope; what it was like, what happened and what it’s like today.
My double life; my new life
The man I used to be died on May 7, 2009. As I was speeding down the passing lane of a St. Louis Interstate, my eyes were filled with tears and my hands were clenched in fists of rage as my choked up voice screamed in agony and disbelief. I was only seconds away from yanking the steering wheel hard to the left to send my car into the cement wall median in an effort to end my life.
Freedom from cyber sex
In 1988, when I married my third wife, I was still hooked on lust. Eventually the Internet came along and I got hooked on chatting with women online. Innocently at first (yeah, right), I kept getting worse.
The downward spiral of internet porn.
It’s 11 p.m. again, way past my bedtime, but I’m still sitting at the computer. I’m so exhausted I can hardly type. I’ve been searching the Internet for sex for more than six hours straight. There were things I needed to do, but they will have to wait. I’m forgetting things and starting to be careless. Tomorrow I am not even turning on the computer.
Self-damage by resenting others
Dealing appropriately with resentments through Sexaholics Anonymous has been one of the most life-transforming benefits of recovery for me. I came to SA because I had destroyed my marriage, destroyed my career, and was putting my life at risk. I did not know how to stop doing the dangerous and destructive sexual things I did. No matter how firm my resolve, my resolve would always dwindle down to weakness again. Over and over, I slipped back into danger.
The 18 foot giant
One of the most important experiences I had as I started working the Steps with my Sexaholics Anonymous sponsor was when I realized that fighting lust was impossible for me. I could not fight lust on my own–ever!
I couldn’t stand being me
For me, there was no positive virtue within myself that brought me to the point that I really wanted what sober Sexaholics Anonymous members had, and that I was ready to go to any length to get it. I reached that conclusion because constantly living in the lie of my lust, sexual addiction and sexual acting out had become too painful for me to bear.
Wisdom from a female addict
The SA members helped me see that their stories had clues and learning experiences for me to adapt for my life and my journey. The people I know who are not in program, are missing out on so much support, knowledge and connections. It is so rewarding to go to an SA meeting and be with people who have the wisdom, hope, and desire to keep on becoming better people!